A collection of half-inebriated, non-sequitur rants and ramblings from the hellish mondane world of retail pharmacy.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Simmer Down Ho

So my pharmacy is one of those that has a drive thru. I wasn't a real big fan of drive thrus in pharmacies when I first started. I came to realize that they also had their benefits and that they weren't that bad afterall. However, I knew that despite it not being so bad there would be some shit that came with it.

Up until today really the worst I've had was some stupid kids asking for fries with their with parent's order. Hahaha, real funny. I'm glad I went to school for as long as I did to get mocked by 7 year olds. Well, today some bitch decided to cross paths with me and she apparently woke up on the pissy side of the bed today.

Story goes like this. She was second in line in the drive thru. The customer in front of her had a fairly complex order. I had to return an item, fill a script, refill another, return another to stock, and so forth, and accordingly it took a while. Why? Because I am a professional and I take the time necessary to do my job correctly. I'm sure if McBitchy w/ cranky sauce was a prescription filling customer, she would appreciate the same kind of service. However, she is selfish, only looking out for herself, and she was not happy with how long she had to wait. (It wasn't all that long anyways) She verbalized her displeasure with the long wait. I refused to apologize. I simply said 'mmmhmm' to her gripes.

So, lesson of the day, the drive thru is a convenience. Its not fucking fast food. I am a pharmacist, not a high school dropout studying for the GED on my breaks while working at Burger King. Set aside enough time for your trip to the pharmacy that your day will not be a complete failure if you do not get your Valtrex within 2 minutes of walking into the store. Have the patience to let a healthcare professional take the necessary time to care for your fellow sister/neighbor who is ill and not make them feeled rushed and uncomfortable. When I am counseling my patients, your expectations of what timely service should be is certainly not on my mind.

Bottom line; be patient, calm down, you're not all that important.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Have you no shame?

No, you don't. And its pretty obvious.

Just because you have an inherent, god-given right to have children, that doesn't mean you need to take that as a challenge. No one is requiring you to raise a family, specifically a very large one that you cannot afford.

I can understand getting pregnant and having a child before you can truly afford one. Mistakes happen. You do your best, you try to provide for your new family and make things right.

However, breeding your own army on the tax payers' dollar is shameful. You have the right to a family, but you do not have the right to have a family and not have to pay for it. That is what we call shameful. You cannot provide sufficiently for your family. This is not good.

There are many ways to fail in life, and not being responsible and providing for your family is a very fundamental failure. One child is one thing, but learn your damn lesson, and don't make the same mistake again. Love that one child, earn more money, and then consider having more children then and only then.

And when your poverty-content family becomes so large that they mail two medicare coupons to your house every month, you are a complete failure.

Shame on you.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007


Well, this is going to be a personal first. I'm certainly neither a liberal, nor a democrat, and I probably couldn't be less of a communist. What I am about to argue for is nothing but pure socialism and commie nonsense that is going to make the Drug Monkey's scotch taste just a little bit better tonight.

If you're following along at home, and read any of the pharmacy/anger/hate blogs that are becoming more and more prevalent, you may have noticed that working with the public tends to be the worst part of our jobs. It can also be argued that its the hardest as well. Ask any pharmacist if their job would be easier or harder if they didn't have to deal with the public, they will gladly tell you that working with the public is a burden.

So, may I suggest anyone trying to build momentum for the socialist movement argue that all jobs working with the public be paid equal. Regardless of your skill or trade, just the act of talking to the public is the single most difficult and least desirable part of any job. The rest is easier and much more pleasant. Thus, all jobs in retail or otherwise work with the public should be paid equally.

Retail pharmacists generally are paid more than their institution/hospital counterparts. Its called combat pay, and its due to having to deal with some dipshit who knows nothing yet insists on yelling at me for no good reason. I just have to sit there and take it. And I can't think of a single good reason that the kid slicing turkey meat at the deli counter has any less dignity or should be expected to take the same verbal abuse. Where is this kid's combat pay?

Whatever. I'm not taking a pay cut.

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A general rule for the public:

I'd like to talk about an unwritten rule that the public should start to follow a little more closely. If you happen to have been prescribed and use medications administered rectally or vaginally, please just call in the prescription number to the pharmacy. Do not bring in the container. Yes, you are special and you wash your hands, wear latex gloves and pray for forgiveness while doing the deed. I get that, thanks, whatever, just don't bring in the box or bottle. If there is any chance that your hands might travel back to the container after tickling your duodenal sphincter, leave it home, decontaminate it, burn it and throw it away. I hope you get the message.

Oh, and one last thing. I've got a friend in the industry, so he would know... no oral sex before going to the dentist. They'll know.

Labels: , ,

Sorry, its been a while...

I've been busy calming down and counting to ten. Several times. For weeks.

I really am starting to hate people. Not as in I hate more than one person, the plural being people. No, as in I hate people, all of them. Well, really, everyone that approaches my pharmacy counter. Those are the people I really hate.

Pop quiz!

You are patient. You politely say hello to the pharmacist that has acknowledged you. You have a handful of three prescriptions. You need to drop them off. You see that the pharmacist has extended his open hand towards you, and shows some genuine interest in helping you today.

Where do you place the prescriptions?

A) In the hands of the pharmacist so s/he can fill them.
B) On the counter, directly under the open and waiting hand of the pharmacist.
C) Roll them up real tight and cram them up your dick hole.

If you answered B, might I suggest C.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Plan B Prevents Abortion

I saw this t-shirt while not doing anything at work today. I thought it was quite clever. The whole concept of the website/shirt company concept is pretty ingenius too.

Is it just me, or do you other pharmacy people have a hard time understanding how any business is capable of making much money? I think its because I have spent too much time around pharmacy figures and spreadsheets, and the fact that we (as a store and industry) just barely squeak by, but I have absolutely no faith in any business being able to make money. I realize that they do, I just can't wrap my otherwise large mind around it.

Except for PBMs and insurance companies. They just bend people over, take their money and rape the hell out of them. Thats a business plan that makes sense to me.

Labels: ,

Monday, March 19, 2007

Stupid Patient of the Day

David Wells of the San Diego Padres

This man has just been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Can you believe that? For the general public out there, thats the type of diabetes you get from being fat, lazy and eating too much sugar. For those of you that don't follow baseball, David Wells was the poster child for how not to live if you don't want to get diabetes. Now he is the poster child for lazy athletes and diabetics. He is Mr. Syndrome X.

It wasn't too long ago that Wells prided himself on drinking beer, eating hot dogs, getting drunk all the time (he claims he threw his no hitter with a wicked hang over) and smoking cigars. He did it because he was a bad ass. He knew it was bad for him, but he was tough and he wasn't going to let conventional wisdom and nutrition dictate his lifestyle. Instead, his diagnosis and misinformation will dictate everything.

"From the time I found out, I made changes. No more starches and sugar. No more rice, pasta, potatoes and white bread. No more fast food. I've cut out alcohol."

Yeah, good luck with that. You've prided yourself on your lifestyle, been living it for many years, and now you are going to just turn it off like a lightswitch. Have fun with that one big guy.

"Obviously, this is a concern," the left-hander told the newspaper. "But it's beatable. And I'm going to beat it."

Uh, no its not. You're stuck with it for, oh lets see, forever!

"This is a major lifestyle change. I don't want this going to Type 1 diabetes," Wells told the newspaper.

Yes it is a major lifestyle change, but Type 1 is not the natural progression of uncontrolled Type 2 diabetes. Plus, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'd be suprised if you haven't been living as a diabetic for quite some time now. Dumbass.

"I want to be around for a while. If you don't take care of this, it can lead to some scary stuff ... like losing limbs. If anyone has this, it's a red flag, period.

Red flag for what? Dying? No numbnuts, getting fat, having more cholesterol than blood in your veins and eating as much as your portly self has been is a red flag. Diabetes the result of ignoring all those red flags.

"But if I follow the rules I've been given, there's no problem."

Well, thats true unless you pay attention to published studies and stats that say otherwise. Nevermind the fact that you are at higher risk for kidney problems, vision problems, depression, changes in lifestyle that fat people find enjoyable, decreased length and quality of life, hypertension, just to name a few. But hey, at least you don't have to worry about getting your penis hard, right?

Oh shit.

No problem my ass.

Now, what I find the funniest, is how much of a dipshit Wells' physician must feel like. Assuming the physician provided any disease conseling at all (probably not), s/he apparently didn't do a very good job of it, or doesn't know shit about diabetes. If I was a colleauge of this physician, I would be making fun of them and mocking them pretty much for the remaining tenure of their career. Time to work on your patient education skills.

Paging Dr. Stupid.

Labels: , ,

Friday, February 23, 2007

What to whine about?

Boy, its been a typical shitty week. Nothing really out of the ordinary. For what its worth, out of the ordinary would include polite customers, physicians not writing shitty prescriptions and nurses/medical assistants pulling their heads out of their asses. Nope, not this week. So, what shall I bitch about tonight?

I know, idiots that whine about the cost of their medications. You know type, sing along with me. "Sir, your total for your thirty Zofran is $40." Then like the idiot they are, they reach for their wallet to pull out their insurance card. Then they flip it at you. Not hand it to you, but arrogantly flip it at you. Jesus, I fucking hate it when they do that. They flip it at you because they didn't think you billed their insurance. They don't realize that $40 is their copay, and their copay is like 5% of the cost of the medication. They have no idea, not because they don't work in pharmacy, but because they are stupid. And the worst part is suffering through the agony while you wait for them to get the card. You have to wait for the 'appropriate' and 'socially acceptable' time to tell them that its been billed. You know damn well the whole time what they are thinking. You just want to shout "Hey! Cheap ass, be happy with your fucking copay and get the hell away from me before you puke."

And then they whine about it. I love telling them how much it actually costs. I love that look on their face. Its the look of total overwhelment (I think thats a word). FYI, you can acheive the same look by doing the "I got your nose" trick by hiding your thumb between your fingers. Works like a charm. Anyways, it just amazes me how unaware people are. I think my personal record for this reaction is a copay just under $10. To them, that clearly was too much for some Lipitor. Fuck, I get mad just thinking about it.

On the flip side, I fucking love it when someone understands how awesome of a deal they are getting and show some fucking graditude for their insurance. They know they are fortunate and I fucking respect that. These are the people that quickly earn my respect and their prescriptions get moved to the front of the line whenever they come in.

Alright, thats all for tonight. Keep those stupid questions coming in. If you've already submitted one, send in another and ask your colleagues. I know we get do a lot better.

Labels: , , , ,