Contest
I would like to propose a contest. Its simple and there should be plenty of contributions.
Stupidest patient question of the year. Just shoot me a comment or email and a panel of judges will decide a winner. I'll even try and come up with a prize.
Lets have it.
posted by Pharmacist at 11:54 PM
19 Comments:
I do not think this is the dumbest of the year, but I do feel it is overall the dumbest question a patient can ask us (I will come up with the dumbest I heard later but this is the first thing that comes to mind)...
"Can you fill my prescription?"
Answer: Nope I am just here with my thumb up my ass getting paid 100K+ a year. I am just a fixture for you to bounce stupid questions off, please go to Walgreens down the street.
4:22 AM
"If a guy finger-banged me with cum on his fingers, can I get pregnant?"
No joke...that's a question I got with no paraphrasing.
5:46 PM
Actual question from an actual customer:
"The label on this Tylenol says I can take 2 tablets every 6 hours. How many can I take?"
I would refer you sir, to the first part of your question.
10:17 PM
I have never posted here before, but I was just thinking about this particular question yesterday.
"Why don't I have anymore refills?"
I remember my response to this as being something like "..........because you already used all the refills your doctor authorized..."
5:06 PM
Customer: I need a refill on my subscr... prescription.
Me: (gets all info) There aren't any refills remaining on that rx, would you like me to call the doctor for you?
Customer: Yes please. And when will that be ready?
Me: (sound of head thudding on counter)
Also a perennial favorite: Upon hearing what their copay is, what the cost would have been without the copay, how few refills the doctor approved, that the doctor hasn't called back yet, etc...
"Are you serious?"
Me: No ma'am! I just got bored so I decided to make stuff up for the sole purpose of ticking you off. Gotta get my jollies somewhere.
5:41 AM
Half way through a consultation for Emergency Hormonal Ontraception:-
Me-"How long is it since you had unprotected intercourse"
Her- "Oh, about six months"
She was a good 180lb, but I thought she was a typical, obese teenager.No,she was 6/12 pregnant. Maybe she thought her foetus would magically vanish?
2:11 PM
Patient: "Do you have anything that will get THC out of my urine? I smoked pot last night and have a drug test at work today."
12:34 PM
Patient hands me a hard copy and says "Is it ready?" I ask her if they called it in ahead of her...she says "No...is it ready?"
Um...yeah...sure it's ready, my crystal ball told me you were on the way.
I simply must win the lottery
10:32 PM
Stupid dude: Can I get some Claritin-D?
Me: Sure, you want the 12-hour kind or the 24-hour kind?
Stupid dude: What's the difference?
7:26 PM
Lady asked me, "Since the doctor gave me 11 refills, I don't have to pay for them all, right? Just the first one."
It took every ounce of self control in my being not to reply, "Yes, that is correct. Would you like fries with that? Or perhaps you would like to supersize your prescription for only 50 cents more."
10:45 PM
Woman: I'm out of Adderall. Can you give some to get through?
Me: *blink* Say what?
8:52 PM
How about this conversation:
Patient: Poison Ivy.
Clerk: What?
Patient: Poison Ivy.
Clerk: WHAT?!
Patient: POISON IVY!!
Clerk: Do you want it or do you have it?
Patient: Forget it. (leaves the store)
Who was more non-communicative - the clerk or the patient?
1:47 PM
Me: You take 1 tablet every day.
Stupid person: Is that every 24 hours?
Me (in my head): Unless we have moved to Venus....yes, you dumb-ass.
Might have more later....Hell, will have more later.
10:00 PM
From PharmDpeetz
honestly heard this one...
a woman who was not a native english speaker...asked me...where she could find the pills for "big dick"...she was looking for some infomercial pills for her husband...apparently he was deficient in an area....
11:03 PM
"Where's the water pills? Will those clean your system out?"
I think she was refering to needed a clean urine drug test....
Maybe I should have pointed her to Mg Citrate or some senna.....since she didn't really specify what system she needed cleaning
12:37 AM
An oldie but goodie:
"did you get the other one?" Generally said when you are handing someone a huge bag of pills.
Jesus wept. The other one what? From who? Who are you and why should I care?
It's enough to piss off the pope.
6:49 PM
Patient calls in and says "This box for this medication I bought says not to take this if I have heart disease or high blood pressure. I have both. Can I still take it?"
me: "Please hold for the pharmacist"
me to pharmacist: "Fucking idiot on line 1"
11:24 PM
Similar to anonymous comment above:
"Can I get pregnant from giving a blow job and swallowing?"
Followed later in the conversation by:
"Do you think the guy used me for sex?"
Um...I'd say yes, but I know what you look like.
10:59 AM
"My child has a fever. How long do I leave the [Tylenol] suppository in before pulling it back out?" Lord, give me strength...
6:01 PM
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